


Bugs

by Hester (hester4418)



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3863194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hester4418/pseuds/Hester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unpleasant encounter of the flying kind. Not to be taken seriously!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bugs

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: The Next Generation and all its characters belong to Paramount Pictures; no infringement of copyright is intended. The story however belongs to me.
> 
> Written July-October 1995; slightly revised October 2012
> 
> AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this in response to the flies surrounding me while lying in the sun on a hot summer day... Not to be taken seriously! ;-)

Beverly Crusher was about to lean over one of her experiments to examine its progress when suddenly something buzzed around her head and then settled on the desk in front of her. Never having been particularly fond of insects, her instinctive reaction was to slam her hand down on the unwelcome distraction. Only after the bug's remains had been discarded did the absurdity of the situation strike her. Just where had the insect come from? It should be impossible for it to exist on or even come aboard the _Enterprise_.

She had barely finished the thought when a new buzzing sound caught her attention. Another little insect settled down on the desk, but the buzzing did not stop. Another one came sailing through the lab's open door. And another. And another.

Beverly raised her hand to tap her communicator but hesitated a fraction before actually activating it. Who should she call? Security? They would only laugh at her.

A chirping sound broke her thoughts. "Picard to Crusher."

"Crusher here," she acknowledged automatically, still contemplating her options.

"Doctor, I wanted to inquire about the results of your –" the captain began, when a new wave of insects entered Beverly's lab. They were all around her, settling here and there and circling her head.

"Go away," she exclaimed angrily, trying to wave them off.

The captain broke off. "I beg your pardon?" he asked cautiously.

"I don't mean you," Beverly assured him in an exasperated tone. "I've got some bugs down here."

"Would you like me to ask Commander LaForge to run a systems diagnostic on your equipment?"

"I don't mean in the computer, I'm talking about real bugs. Little insects, you know?"

Stunned silence followed her statement.

"In sickbay?"

"In the lab. I don't know where they came from, but they're getting more numerous by the minute. And more annoying."

"I'll send someone down to investigate. The other matter can wait until this mystery is cleared up. Picard out."

_Thanks a lot_ , Beverly thought. _Personally, I would prefer a fly swatter right now._

Constantly waving her hands in front of her face, she exited the lab and went into sickbay's main area. The scene there was identical to the lab. Bugs everywhere, seeming to multiply by the minute.

One of the nurses motioned to an air vent in a corner of the room. "They're coming in through there. At first there were only one or two, but then the whole swarm seemed to follow through."

The doctor was about to pass the information on to the captain when Lieutenant Commander Data appeared in the doorway.

"Several other areas of the ship report similar incidents," he began without preamble. "Captain Picard thinks that there might be a connection."

"Maybe you should start by examining the air vents," Beverly suggested, indicating the source of the never-ending stream of insects.

Data peered inside the vent. "This does seem to be their point of emergence. And since all the other affected areas are also connected to this particular venting system, the insects' origin is likely to be in or near the arboretum or the science labs."

He turned and headed for the door. "I will examine the arboretum first."

He was almost gone, when Beverly recovered from her surprise over his quick exit.

"But Data," she called after him in exasperation. "What are we to do with the little pests? They can't stay here!"

Data replied without turning around, "For maximum efficiency, I would recommend a full evacuation and sealing off of all affected sections, followed by flooding with an exterminating gas." With that he was gone.

Beverly almost laughed, so absurd did his words sound to her. A full evacuation? It had been a long time since they had had to resort to that measure. But if Data recommended it, usually the best course of action was to follow his advice.

Sighing, she stepped back into sickbay and told her staff to prepare for the inevitable.

-==/\==-

That evening, Beverly Crusher was sitting in her office completing a log entry on the day's events while her staff still worked to clean up the last remnants of the bug extermination.

It had turned out, after a rather short investigation by Commander Data, that the source of the insects had been a crate in one of the arboretum's storage rooms. The crate had contained original Earth soils and, unfortunately gone unnoticed by everyone, a lair of thousands of little eggs, the majority of which had hatched that morning. Since the air vent had been the only available way out of the storage room, the bugs had found their way to other parts of ship. The _Enterprise_ 's biologists had managed to cryogenically preserve the eggs which were still intact and had stored them for further examination; after that all affected areas of the ship had been evacuated and hermetically sealed. The exterminating gas had produced an immediate effect, and less than two hours after the first insects had been spotted, everyone returned to normal duty.

The doctor had almost finished her log entry when Captain Picard strode into sickbay. He paused in the doorway to her office, giving her time to complete her last sentences before she motioned for him to come in and take a seat.

"Well, Beverly, how's the clean-up going?"

Beverly leaned back, smoothing a lose strand of hair out of her face. "We're almost finished. The messiest part is, of course, getting rid of all those little corpses. There must be thousands of them."

"Commander Data estimates that about half a million of the insects set about exploring the _Enterprise_ before the infestation was halted. We were lucky that they were still restricted to a relatively small part of the ship when you discovered them."

"I never would have thought that I'd have to fight a swarm of bugs in my sickbay. Just imagine what a nuisance they would have been on the bridge."

They both chuckled.

Then the captain rose. "I suppose I had better get back to the bridge. Will I see you for dinner tonight?"

Beverly smiled. "With pleasure. But," her voice took on a threatening quality, "don't you dare serve me anything that has wings!"

The captain's feigned disappointment almost fooled her. "That's really too bad," he pondered innocently. "I happen to have such a wonderful Rigelian recipe for 'Roasted Giant Flies' with a sauce of –" He barely had time to duck in order to escape the PADD which came flying his way.

_Brat_ , Beverly thought while Picard made a hasty retreat for the door, unsuccessfully trying to hide his grin. _Sometimes he can be really annoying._

But then she tried to visualize his proposed meal and had to smile despite herself. _You'll get your 'Giant Fly'_ , she decided. _I'm sure the replicator can come up with a terrible cake in any shape I wish_. Thus having decided on her revenge, she turned back to her work, but not without listening for a moment, trying to decide whether the buzzing sound in the air was real or just a product of her all too vivid imagination.

-==/ The End \==-


End file.
